The Magic & Chaos of Writing a Book with Your Kid
The Joy, the Mess, and the Unexpected Genius of Co-Writing with a Neurodivergent Child
I’ve always wanted to be a writer, which means I’ve had many (many, many . . .) book ideas over the nearly five decades of my life. Most of them are collecting dust in all the abandoned notebooks my husband refuses to let me throw out.
From that huge, cluttered pile of story ideas, I never imagined my debut book would be the one I co-authored with my kid. Yet, in many ways, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Although I’ve known I was a writer for almost as long as I can remember, I credit him with actually making me one.
Most of my life, I wrote in “secret.” I regularly told family, friends, and co-workers that I was working on a book. But the truth was that I always got stuck somewhere in the middle of my story drafts. And that’s when I would abandon them for the next shiny idea.
It wasn't until Parker was growing inside me that I finally decided not to let the murky middle stop me. I pushed past the stuck points by taking Anne Lamott’s advice, and wrote any “shitty” idea I could think of on the page. Doing so allowed me to finally figure out what was meant to be in the middle all along, and it was the first time I had ever finished one of my novel ideas.
I did this because I wanted my kid to know that his dreams were worth fighting for, and I knew I’d never convince him of that if his mom didn’t fight for her own.
So, years later, when he decided he wanted to write a story that we’d eventually publish, of course, I jumped on that.
Why I Wrote a Book with My Kid
Our book, which would eventually come to be called Attack of the Monster Pickles!, was inspired by Parker’s own real-life experience (minus the mutant pickles, of course!). Here’s how it happened:
One night, when Parker was around 6, he was having trouble falling asleep because of those creaky, creepy noises you can hear houses make at night when everything’s quiet. I tried telling him it was nothing, just the house doing its house thing, but he wouldn't believe me.
So I tried a different tactic and asked him what he thought the noises were. “Monster pickles!” he said. I thought it was such a funny answer that I asked him to tell me more about these pickles, and gradually a story filled with sci-fi silliness emerged. Of course, I had to turn that into a picture book!
Parker and I worked on this book together for several years. He supplied me with the ideas while I turned them into words with a definitive plot and characters and worked with editors on polishing the drafts.
Our Writing Journey
Working with a kid, much less my own kid and one with ADHD and super-charged creativity, was equal parts magic and chaos. As a writer, my own mind is constantly filled with ideas. So once I had the basics of the story, my mind took off in its own direction.
But that didn’t always work for Parker. This was his story, after all, so he wanted me to tell it his way, which meant he often shot down my ideas. Then, in that absolutely sure-of-himself way that only kids seem to have, he’d tell me: “No, Mommy. This is how it happens.”
Under ordinary circumstances, this is how collaboration would happen. Co-authors would banter ideas back and forth to come up with a compromise that worked for both authors and the story. Working with a kid is a little different. He was so sure of himself and his ideas that there was rarely give-and-take.
On the one hand, as a mom, I’m super proud of Parker’s confidence in his own creative process. On the other hand, many of his ideas didn’t work with everything I knew about plot, characters, and story writing.
I didn’t want to discourage him, though, because I know what early criticism can do to a kid. So, I’d nod enthusiastically at the idea and then do my own thing, hoping he’d forget about it. I’m not proud of it, but it’s a tactic that often worked. When it didn’t work, I’d let him down in the gentlest way possible, blaming it on the nuances of publishing and the market rather than passing judgment on the ideas themselves.
To add to the challenges, Parker’s creativity, much like mine, is frequently all over the place. He’s a constant idea factory, and even after we had the book “finished” and sent off to the publisher, he was still coming to me with more ideas, asking, “Can we add this to the book, too?”
The research on ADHD is unclear whether intense creativity is a factor of ADHD or more of a stereotype. But I’ve had people tell me more than once they thought my own “manic” creativity was a sign I had ADHD. (It’s entirely possible I do, but I’ve never been diagnosed.)
Parker has this same kind of creativity. It’s a wonderful gift that will likely prove to be his superpower in life.
But I also know firsthand that trying to navigate too many ideas at once can be a distraction from actually finishing anything. So, at the point when three different children’s book editors told me the story was ready to go, I had to believe them.
I told Parker what I often tell myself after I ship off a piece to an editor and kick myself for everything I didn’t include in it: “Save those ideas for the next book!” I can always write another article, and Parker has his whole life ahead of him. So, whether he ends up using all those ideas or not, there’s always the next book.
Despite what often seemed like a chaotic writing process, there was magic in it, too. Even with all the ideas I’ve had over the years, the story and central idea (the pickles!) in Attack of the Monster Pickles! are not something I ever would have come up with.
In fact, I asked one of the professional editors I worked with if she thought the pickles were too “weird” and would make the book unmarketable. (I did have one agent tell me he thought the story was great, but he didn’t know how to position it for the market.) But she gave me a resounding no! “The pickles are funny,” she said. “So definitely keep the pickles!”
Attack of the Monster Pickles! is the first book I’ve published — the first one that got me glowing responses from agents of “wonderful book!” when I’d only ever heard crickets on past submissions, and the first one accepted by a publishing house. So, she must have been on to something about the pickles.
Would I Do it Again?
Parker already has the beginnings of a storyline for a sequel to Attack of the Monster Pickles! He’s also filling notebooks with ideas for a middle-grade series he wants me to help him with. So, I think more collaborative projects are definitely in our future.
Moreover, despite the challenges of writing with a co-author who also happens to be my kid, there has also been magic when our two minds have come together. The pickles ultimately worked because they are funny. It also gave the book a kind of B sci-fi movie twist that worked well, turning an otherwise scary topic — nighttime fears — into a story that allows kids to confront them in a fun and silly way.
Even though I never have a shortage of my own ideas, he challenges me to go in new directions.
I also love that we can do this together. It’s ultimate mother-son bonding. I love that we’re a family of writers (my husband writes too!) that can share this activity together. Although it may sound a bit clichéd, I have only ever wanted two things in life — to be an author and to be a mom. Sharing these two things in tandem is amazing.
For Parker’s part, if you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he’ll tell you “Batman.” But I’d be shocked if his future career wasn’t something creative. I can definitely see the day when he won't need his mom to be a co-writer, and he’ll fly on his own, writing his own books. And when that day comes, it will be bittersweet. But I will also be seriously proud.
These posts will always remain free. If you’d like to support me (and Parker) and our writing, buy our book!