What I Wish I’d Done Differently in College
College was an essential step on the road to where I am today. But nearly two-and-a-half decades later, I still have regrets.
Image by Freepik
A few years ago, while researching an article, I came across an eye-opening survey of college grads. The survey found that a majority of respondents regretted their choice of major.
Newer ones have since replaced that survey, so it’s no longer available online. However, even recent research shows that as many as 61% of surveyed college graduates regret their course of study.
My Biggest College Regret
I count myself in that camp, but not for the reasons you might imagine. Many grads regret they didn’t chose a more lucrative major. But for me, it’s not about money.
Today, I make half of my living as a teacher — I teach college-level English.
Side note: I didn’t get a degree in that either, since teachers in higher-ed specialize in a field of study rather than education in general. My Ph.D. is in mythology. I studied criminal justice and political science as an undergrad. Very different, I know! I wanted to write mysteries back then. 🤷🏻Ironically, there’s a mystery writer whose pen name is Sarah Graves — FYI: it’s not me!
Anywho, I don’t regret being a teacher either. Though I could wax poetic about the problems of the profession — from the ridiculously low pay to the long hours to the unfair demands — I love being a teacher. It’s one of the most rewarding professions out there, and I feel like I make a difference in students' lives every day. It’s what keeps me going.
But I’ve wanted to be a writer my whole life, since I understood there was a human behind the words in all the books I love so much. Though many of my childhood memories are fuzzy — like most people when they get to middle-age — I vividly remember the exact moment I realized that’s what I wanted to be.
I was looking at the words on the page of a book and thought, “Someone wrote these. That’s going to be me. I’m a writer.” I think I was maybe around 5.
Here’s the thing, though. Even though I’ve “always” had a sense of who I wanted to be, I didn’t study writing in college. (I know, a weird confession when I teach writing today!) And that’s my biggest regret.
Why I Didn’t Go After My Passion
Image by Drazen Zigic on Freepik
So why didn’t I? Simply put, fear.
Today, as a working professional writer, I understand the value of feedback and the importance of a growth mindset. But in my teens and early 20s, I was terrified of being seen — and especially of having my writing seen.
Being a writer has always been such a part of who I am, not just a career choice, that any criticism of my work felt worse than a punch in the gut. It felt like an obliteration of my sense of self.
But looking back on it now, I deeply wish I’d studied writing, specifically creative writing.
Now in my forties, I understand the value of feedback, and I welcome it. I know firsthand how much good feedback can improve my writing. I also know that writing is a team effort. Writers require feedback because we can be blind to issues in our own work.
But it took me actually writing professionally, being in writing groups, and working directly with editors on my fiction and nonfiction writing to learn this — to learn that sharing your work with others is exactly the thing that can help make it great.
I wish I’d known that in college. Back then I thought it had to be “perfect” before anyone looked at what I wrote, and as a perfectionist, I never thought my work measured up; hence, I never shared it.
When I look back on it now, I feel such a sense of loss at all the decades that I struggled silently on my own instead of letting others help me.
We often think of writing as a solitary activity, but it really takes a village to produce a great piece of content. I didn’t know it back when I was 5, but there isn’t one person (just an author) behind the words in a book or even a short story or article. There are many people, including early readers and teams of editors. And that’s as it should be.
Other people challenge our thinking, show us how our words land and how our stories affect them. And, of course, others can pick up on the small errors, like typos, that our eyes naturally skip over because our brains fill in what we know we want to say.
I could have learned all that in college instead of in my forties. And while I totally support learning at any age, for someone like myself who’s always known what they wanted to do, I ache for the lost time I could have been professionally writing and answering my soul’s calling.
It’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about helping young creators today. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way. And, though it’s true many of us do, I’m hoping I can help others avoid taking the hard road too.
Here are a few ways I’m helping right now:
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New subscriber benefits. I’ve turned on paid subscriptions to Sketch Pad. Every post I write will remain free for all subscribers. But paid subscribers will get a few extra benefits.
These include:
Professor office hours. Hit reply to this email and send me all your most pressing questions — about navigating college, borrowing and repaying student loans, making art, making a living as an artist, or anything else you want to know more about. As long as it’s on a topic in my wheelhouse, I’ll answer your question anonymously in a new ask-me-anything Friday thread that I’m calling “Professor Office Hours.”
The ability to comment on posts. Limiting this feature to paid subscribers helps keep out the trolls. It's, honestly, the only reason I haven’t turned it on before now.
Potential community threads and live chats. I haven’t fully investigated this Substack feature yet, but if there’s an interest, I’ll open up these features to the Sketch Pad community so you can interact with each other and not only me.
An artist grad interview series. For at least the next year (maybe longer, depending on interest), I will interview once per month an artist who’s attended or graduated college. The intention of this series is to help creatives who are pursuing degrees navigate their educations. Although much of Sketch Pad’s college content can benefit all college students, I (of course) have a special passion for helping other creative types (writers, artists, musicians, performers, and so on). Creatives have unique pathways and challenges when it comes to their education. So, my interviewees will contribute their perspectives on the impact of their college experiences on their artistic careers.
A “letters to my younger self” series. I’m learning there’s power in regret because one of the things I can do with all those choices I wish I’d made differently is turn my “mess” into my “message.” This series will feature lessons learned along the road to a creative career.
Courses. I have a few course ideas in various stages of development. The first is a course on student loans. Not exactly a sexy topic, I know. But it’s one many struggle with, so I hope to provide some value in this space. (My second biggest college regret is also the No. 1 regret of most college and graduate students — over-borrowing!) You can check out the course-in-progress here and sign up to get notified when it’s open for enrollment. I’d also love it if you’d hit reply to this email and let me know what other kinds of topics you’re interested in.
More products for students. Keep an eye on my shop. In addition to my academic planner specifically designed for the needs of college students, I’ll be adding new products every week, including study session organizers, exam planners, research paper planners, study abroad planners, and more! (Hit reply to this email and let me know what you need, and I’ll see if I can make it for you!)
Want More?
Concerned about your own choice of major? Check out my piece: Does the College Major You Choose Affect Your Career Potential?
It’s back to school time! Here are a few resources to help you get settled into the new school year and your space:
What’s New?
I just wrote a new piece for Healthline: Rethinking Hustle Culture: How Menopause Changed the Way I Work.
I launched my new website this week! Check it out at SarahGravesPhD.com.
Stay tuned for my fiction website (SarahElizabethGraves.com) coming soon!
What Am I Loving Right Now?
It’s official — I’m addicted to Enola Holmes. I can’t put the novels down, and they’re such quick reads that I’ve devoured them — I read the whole series this month! If you love a good mystery series, check this one out!
Got my new office set up in the OWU Writing Center! I’ve had several other offices at OWU before, but this one I finally decorated, and I’m so excited about using the space! Check out the pics on Instagram. (And if you like the art, know that I made it! 🙂 That means it will appear in my shop soon for instant digital download.)
